observation post.

If someone told me that I would enter Cirilla’s, an adult entertainment store, during my lifetime, I would say they were lying. How could that be? Me? Entering Cirilla’s? Think again. I grew up in a religious school in which sex, or anything surrounding it, wasn’t discussed. In the fifth grade, my classmates and I signed a celibacy pledge. We were given pieces of paper to sign and were told they would be laminated so they wouldn’t ever get damaged. The laminated pledge was a metaphor for our virginity – never to be ruined. So one fair September Saturday, I ventured beyond the agreements of my laminated pledge into the unknown world of sex and adult entertainment.  

 

Cirilla’s is tucked in between a run-down condominium pool and a gas station along Stadium Boulevard. The simple brick building is crowned with the bright purple Cirilla’s sign. Displays of women’s lingerie and the week’s deals decorated the windows. Upon entry, I was greeted by a friendly-faced employee who asked if I was looking for anything in particular. I said no and shyly explained to her that I came to observe an environment different from my own. She immediately laughed and smiled at me, saying that Cirilla’s is “pretty fucking different.” I came to the right place.

 

Immediately, I was overwhelmed by the amount of penis paraphernalia starring me in the face. It seemed as if I couldn’t escape the genitalia. One on that wall, one on that necklace, one on the floor. They were everywhere. I needed an escape but there didn’t seem to be one. I could feel my cheeks turning bright red. I was in the middle of a sexual sensory overload.

 

As I was browsing the back section of the store, a cross-dresser emerged from the dressing room. The employee asked if those worked for him, referring to the six-inch black platform heels he had in his hands. It was such a normal interaction between employee and customer, meanwhile I was caught off guard by seeing a large man dressed in scanty black clothing. 

 

I quickly learned the variety of Cirilla’s customers.In addition to the cross-dresser, two other men shopped during my time spent at the store. One of the men was around 40 to 50 years old and quickly went to the lingerie section. He paced back and forth through the racks of clothing. His demeanor was agitated and uncomfortable. Shortly after browsing, he left without purchasing anything. The second man was older, around 60 years old, and acknowledged the Cirilla’s employee as if it wasn’t his first trip. He quietly took care of his business and left shortly after entering.  

 

These kinds of customers frequent Cirilla’s quite often, according to my conversation with the employee. She said that people often get uncomfortable when they need something they aren’t familiar with or have a specific question. She tries to pull the most information she can out of the reluctant customers to help them with their needs. Not all customer interactions are like that, she explained. Sometimes she forms a relationship with the customers as a result of their sharing of intimate information. These sales have even resulted in handshakes from her customers, thanking her for the advice and expertise. She even compared it to a therapy session for some customers. 

 

The employee’s discussion of her customer interactions, my observations of the customers and my overall experience caused me to reflect on society’s view of sexuality and my own view of sexuality. Sex is one of the most basic human functions. Religion and cultural beliefs have shaped sex into this hush-hush topic we refrain from exploring or understanding. This has resulted in a lack of knowledge about sexual health, a stigma surrounding sexual expression, and an overall demeaning perception of sex.  Why should we be ashamed to discuss something that is part of our human nature? 

 

The Cirilla’s employee said we’re in the midst of a new sexual revolution where people, especially women, are starting to grow more comfortable in their own sexuality and sexual practices. This “sexual revolution” was evident to me at the store when I saw free pamphlets about safe anal sex and sexual diseases. The availability of these resources was never at my disposal growing up. I learned more from the few minutes I spent browsing those two pamphlets than in my entire sexual education. In comparison to my awkward and uneducated sexual education teachers, the Cirilla’s employee was highly informed and open about answering specific questions.

 

Through this assignment, I found a very clean business that promotes sexual expression and healthy sexual practices. I would use the information I gathered from my visit in order to shed a light on this community at Cirilla’s that is misunderstood. I would use this information as a stepping stone into the bigger issue of teaching sexual education properly to our youth so that they don’t become an uncomfortable customer at Cirilla’s one day.  

 

The world I walked into at Cirilla’s is certainly a world of which I am not accustomed. However, it is a world that I now benefit from knowing, and I think more people would benefit from knowing and understanding, too.